Basically, I think if you can and will put forth the time and effort to figure out a way to help them, then you should keep them. If you just don't feel you can or will, then it may be better to disrupt. Of course, they may not end up somewhere that will do what they need either. It is a chance we take.
But their behaviors are communication....how they are coping. One thing that helped me with my three was going to the TPR trial. It was there that I really got that X months here just wasn't ANYTHING in compared to what they had been through with being shuffled around (family, foster care, etc) and the neglect/abuse (extreme). It helps a little to put up with the behaviors as we look for options.
Have you seen The Connected Child? This is a middle of the road approach. It helps with empathizing and connecting but also helps dole out reasonable consequences (good discussion, problem solving, logical consequences, etc). I do wish she had added a lot more detail and certain kinds of behavior like BCLC does.
As for poop (and pee)....We are trying to address the feelings side. He does it when he gets angry or afraid. We discuss those pretty quickly. He has a feelings wheel at the table (a time he struggles with), etc. Then the consequences are simply logical. He needs to shower, change clothes, rinse out clothes with vinegar.
Last edited by servnjah : Yesterday at 03:19 PM.
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