Loyalty, Friendship, Relationships, Love and Trust...

Tonight I was chatting with a long time friend about some pretty sensitive subjects. ?I realized tonight that she and I really never knew each other before, until recently. ?Before, I was with someone who didn't want me to get to know this friend better, because of jealousy. ?Recently, however, we have become closer and through a surprising show of loyalty to me, I have found that I can trust her with things I rarely share with others. ?Thus making her a very dear and special friend to me. ?So we've been getting to know each other finally after something like 8 or 9 years. ?It's good to have friends you can trust. ?It's even more refreshing to find a friend that you can relax with and actually talk.

Some of our talk made me realize I really needed to express some thoughts and understanding that I had about certain concepts that appear to be beyond the scope of other's understanding.

It starts with Trust. ?

You see, I am a very accepting kind of guy. ?I will accept people's flaws and failures, if they show me they are worth it. ?If they are open with me. ?When I choose someone to be with, when I choose a mate, I have to feel I can trust that person. ?When I make my choice I will open myself up completely to them. ?There can be no secrets. ?Secrets create lies to cover them. ?I don't like being lied to by someone I am close to. ?In a recent relationship, the girl I had chosen gave me a false sense of security and I revealed things to her I wish I hadn't. ?I wish I hadn't, because she was unwilling to do the same and instead told me that she had secrets that she would never tell me and a private life she would never share. ?That can't happen. ?When I choose to be with someone, there can be no holding back. ?It's all or nothing. ?I demand trust and loyalty from those I am close and devoted to, as a mate. ?If she can't trust me with her secrets, if we can't share those things, then if there isn't mutual trust, then what is the point? ?I said above, I am very accepting. ?After what I have been through in my life and what I have seen and allowed to be done to me, there is nothing about anyone that could possibly be any worse. ?Seriously? ?I was once in a relationship with someone who was a pathological liar. ?She had been a stripper, terribly promiscuous, hated by her peers. ?She had been a drug addict and a thief. ?There's so much more. ?Those details are only a small hint. ?She didn't eat live kittens or worship Satan or anything like that, but the things she had done are looked down on by the majority of normal society. ?And when it comes down to it, what the rest of Society considers abnormal or wrong...that's just the way it is. ?But I knew all her secrets and the worst things she had done. ?I didn't care. ?I believe everyone is worthy of redemption and a chance to atone for their mistakes.

I will not accept the person I am with holding back who they are.

Then there is Love.

It amazes me how people can be so apathetic and lost in what TV and teen drama has taught them. ?The best relationships start with a great friendship. ?Anyone who has ever used that moronic line, "I don't want to ruin our friendship." ?needs a slap back to reality. ?Your self centered and ignorant comment just shit all over one of the few people who really understands you better than anyone else. ?Who better to be with than someone who knows all your flaws and perfections, someone who knows what to expect from you, who knows your needs and wants and your dreams? ?Who? ?Not someone you barely know. ?With a friend, you don't have to go through that long process of getting to know each other. ?It's all already there. ?Telling a friend they aren't good enough for your love, is short sighted and selfish. ?This kind of thing happens too often. ?I was even told by someone that their spouse didn't want to be both, when asked if they could be best friends as well as husband and wife. ?What? ? Your lover is supposed to be your best friend too. ?We're not cold machines, people. ?Do you all even know what love is about? ?The shear ignorance, the apathy, is staggering sometimes. ?This is not a Daytime TV Drama. ?This is real life. ?Wake up. ?Grow up.

When someone shows me their loyalty is worthy of my attention, I will forgive almost anything. ?When someone proves their loyalty to me again and again, I will open up and share a great many things with that person. ?Their loyalty deserves my trust. ?When I choose a person that I trust to share my life with, they damn well better be willing to trust me and show me the same devotion as well, if we're going to be getting into a serious relationship together.

Source: http://shadowofnecropolis.blogspot.com/2012/09/loyalty-friendship-relationships-love.html

san francisco 49ers san francisco 49ers sf 49ers joe paterno died 49ers game ravens ray lewis